


If I Could Fly Home

by Insightfularry



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom
Genre: Break Up, Fluff, Harry and Louis - Freeform, Heartbreak, Home, I'll be your light, If I Could Fly, Love, M/M, Soulmates, babygate, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, lonely, mitam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 05:07:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6786478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insightfularry/pseuds/Insightfularry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Souls that belong together can never be teared apart. Being apart shows loving hearts that they cannot be away from their home; it proves that they would fly across the world to hold each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Light rain was heard gently crashing against all that lied outside Harry’s window. A half empty cup of tea sat on the white bedside table adjacent to where he rested on the bed. He was sitting up, resting his body against the ebony headboard, and clutching onto a notebook which he kept shut. He gazed around the empty room that was cluttered with furniture, then focused on the collection of droplets that raced each other down his window opposite from his view. It was a relaxing experience, looking at the water that gave life to the earth, but it was also adding to his somber mood, so he looked away. 

His golden brown locks rested on his shoulders, appearing to be messier than usual. His emerald eyes had lost the light they always carried; they were now situated above dark spots on his skin. He breathed slowly and evenly, as his head turned once more to allow his colorless eyes to take in his surroundings. Not a single sound was heard throughout the large house; all was silent and still, which was quite the aberration for the place. 

He leaned back into the headboard and slowly opened the old notebook. He turned to an empty page and with a single motion, he let the tip of his pen stain the canvas. No words came to mind in that moment; he was empty himself. It wasn’t until he turned to his left that words began to flood his mind. He fixed his eyes on the empty spot beside him, placing his hand on the sheets, instantly feeling the chill temperature. All remains of the one whom he had held close on those very sheets were gone. The only trace that remained was the distinct smell. Harry’s olfactory senses were at their zenith. He could smell him in the sheets and all throughout the room. 

All he wanted was for him to be near; he wished to feel the heat that radiated off his body, to smell his unique scent, and to hearken as he told jokes; jokes that led to an outbursts of synchronized, harmonious giggles. He would give anything to have him back. He would fly across the world to see him, but he couldn’t. Louis didn’t want him to. A soft hum escaped from his lips as all his thoughts collided at once. 

The hum turned into words as he continued. 

“If I could fly, I’d be coming right back home to you,” he sang lowly and rushed to jot down his statement. 

“I think I might, give up everything,” he sang out, gazing to his left once more, “just ask me to.”

“Pay attention, I hope that you’re listening,” sniffles now took place of the silence, “cause I let my guard down.”

“Right now I’m completely defenseless, Lou.” He couldn’t stop the tears that begged to pour out, so he let them fall. They raced and traced his cheeks as gracefully as the raindrops that covered the glass. 

“For your eyes only, I show you my heart, for when you’re lonely, and forget who you are.” Words came to him as easily as waves crashed on the shore. 

He shook his head and closed the notebook softly, stopping to press his fingers over his damp eyes. Tears had streamed down his face; they reached all the way down his upper body, soaking the top of his black hoodie.

“I’m missing half of me when we’re apart,” he whispered and opened the book again, engraving the words at the very end of the page. 

“Now you know me, for your eyes only.”

The sudden inspiration did not end there. Harry continued playing around with lines, words, and phrases until he felt like everything fit together. The way the words appeared in his mind so seamlessly was odd. The songwriting process wasn’t usually that rapid for Harry, unless there was true meaning and emotion behind the lyrics he was coming up with.

“I’ve got scars, even though they can’t always be seen,” was the last line he wrote before grabbing his phone from under the white covers.

With a tear-stained face and enough evidence in his voice that he’d been crying to convict a criminal, he called Louis, only to be sent straight to voicemail. Hearing Louis say,

“Tommo here, sorry I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m probably doing something really important and cool that requires my utmost undivided attention. Speak soon!” was as painful as having a bullet sent through his chest, yet as soothing as taking a warm bath after a long day. 

Harry realized he could end the call and not have to say a word, but he didn’t react fast enough to beat the beep that echoed after Louis finished his short speech, so he began to speak, stuttering and stammering his words at first, 

“I uh, I don’t know what to say right now. I’m um, I’m home and, and I miss you Louis. I miss you more than the sky misses the sun in the night. I feel alone. I don’t know what you’re up to, but I hope you are safe, and, and happy, even though I can’t be. I guess I just called because I wanted to let you know that,” he sniffled into the phone and felt tears battle it out to escape once more,  
“ if I could f-” BEEP. 

That was it. He wasn’t going to call back to leave another message; he didn’t want to bother Louis. Harry sunk into the mattress and felt his eyes grow heavy as his body gave into the fatigue that had built up over the past restless nights. 


	2. Chapter 2

Skies were cloudy and grey above the two boys sitting outside the wooden cabin. Trees and wildlife were seen all around them. Everything was quiet, making this the perfect place for the pair to shout out song ideas for their upcoming album. Liam and Louis were the dream team when it came to songwriting, creating masterpieces in short spans of time. The two headed to America to have their session. Liam had been humming a few tunes, coming up with melodies, and throwing out rhymes into the air, while Louis sat across from him, eyes sad, smile forced, and mind blank, but overflowing at the same time. 

Liam knew why his friend was out of inspiration; he knew why he wasn’t able to write an upbeat summer anthem at the moment, so he continued to come up with ideas and shared them with Louis, waiting for either a slight nod of the head or a slow shake.  
After a few hours had passed, and nighttime began to fall upon them, Louis began to hum a few melodies, appearing to be feeling a bit better than before, but not entirely so. He stood up from the plastic chair he had been practically glued to for the past three hours and informed Liam he was going to get some air. 

“How much more air could you want, mate?” Liam joked, trying to add any levity he could. They were sat outside surrounded by nature, fresh air circulated them all around. 

“A bit more, actually,” Louis replied, pulling his grey hoodie over his head and walking into the woods. 

“Don’t get mauled by a bear! I’ll have to write all this myself!” Liam exclaimed as his friend left him. 

“Sure would hurt less than this,” Louis thought to himself as he headed in the other direction down an unknown path. He needed this; he needed to breathe easy for a bit. 

Back by the cabin, Louis’ phone buzzed on a blue cooler that contained multiple types of beverages for the session, causing Liam to stand up from his chair to see who was calling. He had a strong feeling about who it would be before glancing over at the caller ID and seeing an adorable picture of a messy haired Harry laying in bed, smiling, dimples and all, while looking away from the camera. He did what he thought was best for his two best friends; he hit end, sending, Harry, whom he knew probably, currently looked much different from the picture on screen, straight to Louis’ voicemail. Then, he slid his index finger across the iPhone screen to make the notification disappear before Louis returned from his walk. 

Louis trudged back through the woods a while later, feeling worse than he had when he left. At least Liam had been keeping him company before. Walking alone left him isolated with his thoughts; thoughts so dangerous and painful that they should've had a warning sign on them.

Liam acted like nothing went on while he was away; he really felt that Louis needed some time without speaking to Harry after the debacle that was their first ever breakup after nearly five years. He was sure he was being a good friend in keeping the information he knew from Louis; he was certain he was doing right by him until he watched the once cheerful, jubilant boy with the bright cerulean eyes slumped in his chair, gazing off into the distance with eyes that lacked vitality and a frown that could shut off all the lights in London. 

When Louis quietly announced that he was going inside to make tea, Liam handed him his phone without saying a word. Louis took his device without questioning Liam and entered the back of the cabin through the sliding glass door that opened to the kitchen. 

He opened cabinets and drawers, looking for his tea making materials. Louis slowly prepared his drink. He was doing all he could to stop time for a bit, so that he wouldn’t have to go pretend to be in a well enough mental state to write songs. He knew Liam understood he felt like his world was ending, but Louis had promised him he would be there to help with the songs for the album, and Louis was a man of his word. The last thing he wanted was to let down one of his best friends. 

Once his Yorkshire tea was as perfectly prepared as it could be, he set it down on the countertop to cool before he could take his first sip. The delightful scent it brought to the kitchen reminded him of home, and of Harry. He couldn’t do a single thing without being reminded of the beautiful boy who had been his for years and years. One fight had to ruin it all and quite frankly, he wasn’t sure he could take it any longer. Missing Harry was like missing the very last train when you’re stranded in an unknown place; in a place you could never call home. 

He felt alone and lonely in this place. The weight of the phone in his pocket was evident to him, as he turned to look through the glass door to observe Liam writing away on his laptop. 

As he turned back around, he reached inside and took out his phone, unlocking it, and hesitantly checking if he had any new texts. He had promised himself he wouldn’t check to see if Harry had made any attempt to text or call, but he was weak; his poor heart couldn’t handle the restriction any longer. 

As he closed the empty inbox page, he saw a notification on the voicemail page. His stomach did flips at the sight of Harry’s name, and his finger instantly tapped the glass, pressing play.

“I uh, I don’t know what to say right now. I’m um, I’m home and, and I miss you Louis. I miss you more than the sky misses the sun in the night. I feel alone. I don’t know what you’re up to, but I hope you are safe, and, and happy, even though I can’t be. I guess I just called because I wanted to let you know that, if, if I could f-”

Tears spilled from Louis’ eyes like an overflowing sink at the sound of Harry’s deep raspy voice sounding broken, as he spoke words of love and pain from across the world. His previously hollow mind now had thoughts racing across frantically. He had his answer. For days he had been wondering if Harry missed him; if Harry still wanted anything to do with him. Now he knew that Harry was longing just as much as he was. 

The news made his heart flutter and made his seemingly permanent frown turn upside down more than it had since the night where everything crumbled. It had been a week since he heard the voice that soothed him when nothing else would; the voice that hummed beautiful tunes into his ear on the nights where wretched thoughts kept him awake. Harry’s voice was his palliative in any situation. He yearned to always have the angelic sound for reassurance that things would be okay. Being deprived of that security destroyed him and he wasn’t sure he could live without his ethereal solace. 

He leaned back against the counter, while completely disregarding the tea that sat a foot away, and decided to call Harry back. He had no idea what he was going to say, but he was sure of one thing; he was sure that if didn’t speak to Harry in that very moment, he would lose the meager amount of sanity that he had.

One, two, seven rings. “You have reached Harry! Sorry I can’t answer your call right now, but I promise to get back to you very soon, have a nice day!" 

Hearing Harry’s voice again made him weak.

He didn’t want to call back since he figured Harry must have been asleep by that time in London. A small, pessimistic part of his mind wanted him to believe that Harry was out, having fun with someone else by now, but a larger part told him that Harry didn’t sound torn up about just anything, ever. 

His sanity levels began to diminish rapidly during those few minutes. He longed to hop on a flight in that very moment and fly home, so that he could apologize, but he had to stay with Liam until the next day to finish the writing session. They had been at the cabin for a week and the most he had contributed to the process was a single depressing line that made no sense to the mentally stable. He figured that Liam must have been getting worried since making tea does not usually take 84 years, so he decided he would head back out. 

As Louis’ fingers made contact with the silver door handle, he felt his phone burning a hole in his pocket. He reached inside to retrieve it and replayed Harry’s voice message, taking in each word this time. He played it once more, and again, and again. He played it so many times that he memorized it word for word. 

“I’m home and, and I miss you, Louis,” he whispered softly, smiling to himself in the empty kitchen before opening the door and heading out to join Liam. 

“You alright, mate? Tea took you ages,” Liam spoke up as soon as he saw Louis headed towards him with a brown mug in hand. 

“Yeah, I was just,” Louis began to reply before Liam interjected, “You heard the message didn’t you?”

“You knew about that?” Louis asked, wondering when Liam had seen it and how he had done so before him. 

“You left your phone when you took your spiritual walk among the trees. He called, but I sent him to voicemail,” Liam answered carefully, not knowing if the topic of Harry was still as sensitive as it had been. All week, even mentioning the color green was as dangerous as cutting up a fresh wound. 

“Oh. Right,” Louis nodded and took a seat across from Liam, “and it was not a spiritual walk, it was, it was just peaceful, I guess.” That was a lie. He had wanted it to be peaceful, but it was the complete opposite. 

“How are you feeling?” Liam had to ask. 

“I’m alright,” Louis responded, grabbing his laptop and beginning to type. 

“You look better.” Liam could clearly see a difference in the way Louis acted. He didn’t have his full, luminous smile back, but his bleak expression was somehow becoming softer, and brighter. “What did Harry say?”

Louis looked up from his macbook and said, “He’s uh, he’s home and,” his eyes diverted back to what he was typing. 

“And?” Liam, now extremely interested, questioned. 

“And he misses me,” Louis stopped and smiled softly at the ground beneath them, “he misses me more than the sky misses the sun in the night.”

“Still a poetic lad, isn’t he?” Liam chuckled, emulating Louis’ contagious smile. Of course something like this would have Louis acting like a child in love once again. His soft smiles only existed because of Harry; they were always caused by Harry. He should’ve guessed the other boy was home feeling the way Louis was, and conjuring up stanzas of sappiness. 

Louis nodded, his face breaking out into a full grin this time, “He sure is.”

“You should call him. Work this out. You two are the actual definition of soulmates. You can’t be apart without feeling completely alone. Go home, I’ll take care of the writing for this session,” Liam urged Louis to go back home to Harry.

“I can’t just leave you here,” Louis shook his head in disagreement, “I haven’t even written a song. As much as I’m dying to go home, I can’t right now. I’ll have to wait a day.”

“My heart’s already breaking, baby go on twist the knife. You wrote that!” Liam said, quoting the only line Louis had come up with all week. 

“That’s hardly a song,” Louis scoffed, continuing to type. 

As much as Liam wanted Louis to fly home in that very moment, he knew how stubborn he was, so he didn’t argue. The two continued their session, throwing ideas back and forth and finally having a bit of banter. After they spent awhile trying to write songs in vain, they decided that they should try writing paragraphs about how they felt. Later on, they’d take words from them to try to complete a song. 

Louis wrote down his scattered thoughts. 

“We were young. They told me I couldn’t have you. They told you you couldn’t have me. But we didn’t want anyone else. It was mutual. I could tell by looking in your beautiful green eyes and seeing your bright smile, that you felt the same about me. I didn’t know what it was like to feel alive before you. There was always something missing in everyone else. You were the missing puzzle piece. I was in the dark for so long with an empty heart, but so were you. We were each other’s lights through everything. We were always enough together to beat them. It’s alright to call out for somebody to hold at night. I always called out for you. When I was lost you helped me find my way. You have always been my guiding light, and because of that, I’ll never let you feel like you’re alone. You are my home.”

“I think I’ve got something!” Louis exclaimed as he read his paragraph aloud, causing Liam to start thinking up rhymes. 

“It’s alright, calling out for somebody to hold at night,” Louis sang, “no, tonight. And it’s alright, calling out for somebody to hold tonight.” His eyes quickly skimmed the end of the paragraph and he sang out again, “When you’re lost I’ll find the way, I’ll be your light. You’ll never feel like you’re alone, I’ll make this feel like Home.” Liam sat across from him grinning from ear to ear, “That is absolutely brilliant! Write this down, Tommo!” The things love could produce were magical. 

The two agreed those lines would make up the chorus of a song. Louis continued creating lines in his head and singing them for Liam, 

“Still high with a little feeling, I see the smile as it starts to creep in, it was there I saw it in your eyes.” 

He thought about the day they first met. His eyes met Harry’s and he instantly felt a million emotions at once; wonderful, ineffable emotions. 

Louis remembered all the times during the X-Factor days before the two had discussed how they felt. He could recall in exact detail how he felt when Harry high fived him during a video diary. He smiled shyly and turned away from the only boy who had ever filled his stomach with enough butterflies to cause them to go extinct everywhere else. Those beautiful butterflies he felt every time he looked or touched him all belonged to Harry’s creation. 

The words escaped Louis' mind effortlessly. He finally had a wide grin on his face, something he hadn't had in days. Liam was glad Louis stopped looking like death itself. They both continued writing the song. Liam played around with the beat while the words poured out of Louis' heart. "Baby we could be enough." 

At around 1 am, then they headed to bed. Louis would be going back home in the early morning while Liam would stay behind for most of the day.


	3. Chapter 3

The blaring sound of thunder hitting near Harry's house caused him to wake up. He looked over to the alarm clock on the bedside table and saw that it was only 6 in the morning. He groaned, feeling disgruntled, because that meant that he would have to be awake for most of the day. Normally, that wouldn't be a problem. He loved to wake up early on their days off so he could make breakfast from himself and Louis. The only time he would sleep in was when Louis refused to let him get out of bed on a lazy Sunday morning. 

Waking up at the crack of dawn was an issue for him today; all he wanted was to be unconscious. His thoughts could not roam his bleak mind when he was at rest. His heart could not ache while he was in deep sleep, because it was too busy trying hard enough to keep him alive, to hurt in the middle of the night. He didn't have to suffer while away, so he tried to go back to sleep. 

Rolling over, turning, sitting up, and laying back down repeatedly did not aid in sending him back into his unconscious state. All his movements did were remind him that he was alone in such a large bed. Filling up the space next to him would be easy. He could go out and pick up a handsome stranger to keep him company, but he didn't want that. He desired to have the only person who knew him better than he knew himself, next to him. Yearning for Louis' arms around him in that moment caused him to want to sleep even more. He shifted in bed once more in attempt to find a comfortable position that didn't involve having familiar arms around him, but something hard poked his back. 

Harry pulled out the cell phone that was trying to stab him to death from behind him. "That would hurt less than this, now wouldn't it?" he mumbled quietly and reached towards the alabaster table where the weapon would rest. As he tried to place it down, his finger slipped and accidentally pressed the home button, lighting up the large screen.

"Missed call. From," Harry froze in place. He wondered why he had called. Did he think that his message was absolutely pathetic enough that he had to call to tell him how pathetic and annoying he was? No. That couldn't be it. Louis would probably do that to a someone he didn't like, but not to Harry. 

Nevertheless, his mind continued to tell him Louis had called to tell him to leave him alone; to stop calling. Harry remembered how upset he had sounded right before the machine sent a piercing sound into his ears and he was convinced that Louis thought he was pathetic. The optimistic part of him told him that Louis had called because he wanted to talk to him. Maybe he felt the same way he did. Harry doubted it, slightly. Louis was with Liam, at least he had a distraction from his feelings, while he was stuck in an empty house, which allowed his feelings to dig deeper than ever into his fragile heart. 

His fingers acted before his brain had the chance to signal them to stop. He called Louis back, and was sent directly to voicemail once more. Harry's spirits dropped. Who was he trying to fool? Louis had only called to tell him to stop; he didn't want to talk to him, or else he'd answer. Harry wasn't sure why he wanted Louis to be standing by his phone, impatiently waiting for his call. He wanted Louis to be happy. He always said that if they were ever separated by something, that he wanted Louis to find new happiness, but that morning, all he wanted was for Louis to be just as shattered as him about their situation. 

Somehow, he managed to fall back asleep. The exhaustion his body felt from prior restless nights was too extensive to be cured by a single night's rest. Harry couldn't even consider his slumber as rest; he was in a constant cycle of dreaming, waking up, and hurting. His dreams were full of the one he craved for the most, causing him to wake up to search for him. 

He woke up again at 4 and decided to try to look decent enough to go out and get milk. Harry needed to get out of the house, even if it was to go to the shop to buy some dairy. He couldn’t be alone in the empty house any longer. After dressing in black jeans, a white t-shirt, and a black coat, he locked the door behind him and headed out to purchase his beverage.


	4. Chapter 4

"Good luck, mate," Liam called out to Louis from where he was getting ready in his room. 

Louis gathered his luggage in the cabin's living room, placing his suitcase by the front door. 

"I've never been so nervous to see my own boyfriend, or whatever he is now," Louis mumbled just loudly enough for a Liam to hear. Liam rushed around his bedroom, attempting to get dressed fast enough to go out and say goodbye to Louis. He dressed in black pants and an open button down shirt. 

"He's yours, that's what he is. He's still Harry and he's still yours. Now go and get him back," Liam's encouraging words built up Louis' confidence slightly but not nearly enough. 

"If he's still mine, why would I need to be getting him back? You're contradicting yourself there, Liam," Louis responded, attempting to lighten the anxiety filled conversation. 

"You know what I mean. Stop overthinking everything and go, you'll miss your flight," Liam answered. 

"I'm going on the jet, they can't leave without me," Louis stated, rolling his eyes at his friend. 

"Harry's not getting any younger, and neither are you. Get out of here!" 

"I didn't realize how much you wanted me to be gone!" Louis exclaimed, managing to let a small laugh escape his lips in the process. 

"Yeah mate, that's why I suggested you leave early. Harry doesn't need you, I just need you gone. You're annoying. I can't take it anymore. I don't know how Harry deals with you everyday," Liam joked, walking out and joining him the the living area.

"Very funny. He loves to deal with me, he also love to-" 

Liam's eyes grew wide, "I'm going to have to stop you right there, mate. I've heard that line enough times to know what type of content follows." 

Louis smiled cheekily, pleased with himself, and hugged Liam goodbye. 

After their embrace, Louis headed out the door and was driven to the airport. He boarded his jet and started his journey across the majority of the US and the Atlantic Ocean; flying back home.

The nerves that kicked in when he woke up that morning did not go away 36,000 feet in the air; they worsened. He had never felt more anxious about seeing someone in his entire life, especially his someone. He felt hot all of a sudden, so he removed his black adidas jumper, and was left in a grey t-shirt and black pants. 

"Are you alright, lad?" Preston came over to where he was sat and placed a hand on Louis' shoulder. 

"I'm lovely," Louis weakly responded, evidently anxious. 

"When has Harry ever made you feel like you can't talk to him? Never. He never has. I understand why you're nervous to see him, but you two know each other so well, you shouldn't have to be. You can talk this out." 

The man's profound words made him feel a bit better, but his anxiety levels remained the same. His mind tricked him into thinking Harry would hate him and kick him out of the house. Those days, positivity only existed in Louis' fantasies.

Nerves built up higher and higher as the plane reached closer and closer to his destination. 

After a twenty minute drive from the airport, he arrived at home. When he reached the house, he realized he had left his keys back at the cabin. 

"I knew I forgot something," he spoke to himself, disgruntled and still anxious. He rang the doorbell and waited, and waited. After 10 minutes of ringing the doorbell and not having a head of a curls open up, he sat down on the little bench Harry insisted they needed for the front of the house. 

Louis had argued with Harry about the importance of placing a bench where no one would sit. Harry had said something about his vision for their home, and Louis couldn't object. It finally came in handy. Maybe that was Harry's vision. Maybe he saw Louis forgetting his house keys because Liam had distracted him, which caused him to need to sit on the small bench, because it was beginning to rain. He threw his black jumper back on once he felt the strong winds blowing in his direction.

The rain poured down heavily now and Louis wondered if this was his punishment. Was Harry aware of his presence? Had he decided to let him sit out in the rain and think about his actions? He didn't know. All he knew was that for some reason, being home made him feel better than he had felt in the past week. Maybe Harry wasn't home. 

Louis watched as the rain hit the pavement besides him. The small roof above him protected him from becoming a messy, wet blob that Harry would see when he arrived or decided to open up, whatever the case would end up being. 

After an hour had passed and the rain had only gained strength, he decided to call Harry. Right when he was about to dial, he saw an unknown figure under a black umbrella head towards him. "This is how it ends," he thought, not realizing who the ominous shadowy figure was.

"Lou?" Harry said as his reached the front of the house, and shut the umbrella. His expression softened as soon as he saw Louis' face. Harry was speechless. 

"Where on earth were you, Harold?" Louis asked, feeling the tension between them, but having to find out nevertheless. 

"I was, uh, I was getting milk," Harry pointed to the bag in his hand. 

"For an hour?" Louis questioned. 

"There was a long line and traffic," Harry replied and opened the door to let them both inside. 

 

Louis could immediately sense he was Home, even with all the tension in the air. The house had a small role in providing that feeling, however. Having Harry next to him was what really made it feel like home. Harry went over to the kitchen to put away the milk, then he walked back toward the living room where Louis was stood with his hands in his pockets. 

"What are you doing here?" Harry broke the silence, walking over to stand in front of Louis. 

“I. I'm just going to be honest with you, Harry," Louis began, struggling to breathe evenly enough to allow the words to leave his lips, 

"I'm dying, no I'm dead without you Harry. I don't know what I'm doing anymore, I don't know where I'm headed. I've been miserable this last week without you, more than miserable actually," he continued, recalling the almost entirely wretched song writing session he just arrived from, 

"Liam was probably dying to get rid of the darkness he had to deal with all week. I miss you so so much, Harold. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for all the shit I said that night. I didn't mean any of it. I didn't," Louis paced slowly back in forth in front of Harry, doing his best to avoid any eye contact. He knew he'd crumble entirely and forget how to speak as soon as his eyes met the green ones that were a few feet away,

"And I know you've probably been doing okay without me, and that I'm a burden that you just want to get rid of now. This whole mess wouldn't be easy for either of us. I'll go through it alone to spare you the trouble," Louis stopped his restless pacing and finally gazed up into Harry's eyes, 

"You had every right to be upset. I just, I had to tell you how I feel," Louis ranted nearly out of breath, feeling tears well up in his eyes, watching Harry stand there motionless, with a stoic expression. 

"I'll leave. I'll just go. I'm sorry. You just. Your message. You seemed like you did miss me. And I was hoping you did, but I guess you're okay," Louis said, noticing that Harry looked much better and more put together than he did.

Harry did not say a word. He simply inched closer to Louis and cupped his face with his hands, running his thumb along Louis' cheek. He brought their faces just inches apart, so that their eyes could finally meet.

"You idiot," Harry whispered, "I have never felt so terrible in my entire life. I can't live without you Louis. I cannot. It is physically impossible for me to do that." 

Louis instantly relaxed under Harry's touch. He stared directly into his eyes to take in what he was saying.

"I love you more than anything in this world and I will go through anything with you. I was the one who jumped to conclusions when they told us about the baby. I just. I'm tired of waiting, Lou. I want the world to know that you're mine and that I’m yours. I felt like you were okay with it. I thought that you didn’t care about what we’ve been fighting for all these years.” 

Louis answered, "I want that too, Harry. I would never be okay with something like that. I'm sick of being pushed around and told that they can't know that I love you. Because I do. I love you, Harry. But I had to agree to it or they would push the date back even further, and I want it as soon as it can happen, for you and for me. I would never do anything to hurt you, never." Tears spilled with ease. 

"I know, baby. I will be here every step of the way. We'll get through this. I will never let you feel like you're alone," Harry reassured him. 

Harry pulled the smaller boy close and embraced him tightly, allowing their bodies to mold perfectly into each other. 

"I'll make this feel like home," Louis whispered into Harry's shoulder, smiling as the tears rolled down his cheeks and down his shoulder from Harry's. 

"What, love?" Harry asked, in the middle of the embrace. 

"Nothing," Louis mumbled, smiling again, "I'll show you later." 

They pulled back and Harry brought himself down to softly kiss Louis's lips. The lips they longed to kiss were finally there again. The bodies they desired to touch were there. They both yearned to feel each other's touch for what seemed like centuries. 

Their kiss went from soft and quick to slow and deep; they went from standing in the middle of the living room to stumbling up the stairs and entering their bedroom. They were attached, and didn't let go until night fell upon the city.


	5. Chapter 5

Heavy rain continued to fall from the heavens. Harry and Louis laid in their bed, tangled up in the sheets, enjoying each other's presence. They fell asleep peacefully for the first time in ages, once Louis' arms were wrapped around his little spoon. 

It was 2 am when thunder roared outside and shook the home, waking Louis, abruptly, but not disturbing Harry. Louis looked to his side and upon seeing the angelic figure next to him, he smiled like a small child who had been given an ice cream cone on a hot summer day. 

He was so happy to be home; to have his home in his arms once again. His joyful mood lasted only a few minutes, because as he tried to fall back asleep, he felt dark thoughts cloud his mind more than the stormy clouds in the London sky. 

Louis knew how hard it would be to have to pretend to be with yet another girl, and he knew that their team hadn't told him the entire timeline of what he would have to do. He expected the worst, but Harry deserved the best. He was worried, anxious, nervous, stressed, and felt in his heart that he would soon be depressed, and that Harry did not deserve to deal with the mess that would become of Louis Tomlinson in the remainder of the year. 

His body tensed at the thought of having to let Harry go. Harry moved around in his sleep and blinked his eyes open a few minutes afterwards. 

"What’s wrong, babe?" Harry rubbed his eyes and turned over to listen. He could instantly tell something was off about his boy. 

"Nothing darling, go back to sleep," Louis kissed his forehead and tried to assure him he was alright, in vain. Harry knew him too well to be fooled.

"Tell me what's wrong," Harry sat up in bed and listened to everything Louis had to say. His thoughts were finally verbalized. Harry's heart broke when he heard Louis say that he should leave him if this would hurt him too much. He would never in a million years leave Louis' side. Their time apart proved that they could not be without each other.

Harry attempted to talk Louis down as the thunder continued to blare outside.

"I would never ever leave, Louis. You know that. Please, never have a doubt in your mind that I love you more than anything in this world." 

"More than the sky misses the sun in the night sky?" Louis whispered as they sat in the dark room. 

"Yes," Harry smiled, bashful about his extremely sappy remark, then proceeded to leave a trail of kisses down Louis neck, stopping at his collarbone.

Harry laid them down and wrapped his arms around Louis, being the big spoon this time. He always was when Louis needed reassurance that everything would be okay. Everything would be okay as long as they had each other to hold every night. 

"I wrote you a song," Harry whispered into Louis' ear. He felt Louis tense up under him. "You know that tickles, arreh!" Louis moved his head against Harry's lips, attempting to get rid of the goosebumps that had appeared on his skin courtesy of Harry. 

"I'm sorry," Harry giggled softly. He knew Louis said he hated when he spoke in his ear, but that he secretly enjoyed it. Louis cuddled deeper into Harry's warm embrace. 

"Can I sing it to you," Harry asked in the softest voice he could manage.

"Of course, babe," Louis' eyes began to shut slowly as the restlessness caught up to him. 

"If I could fly, I’d coming right back home to you," Harry’s voice filled the dark room.

Louis snapped out of his sleepy state within seconds of hearing the first line. "Home,” he thought. 

"I think I might, give up everything, just ask me to" Harry continued, "pay attention I hope that you're listening, cause I let my guard down. Right now I'm completely defenseless," 

Louis turned around to look at Harry as he continued his song. 

"For your eyes only," Harry began the chorus, placing his hand gently on Louis' cheek and turning him so that their eyes locked, "I show you my heart. For when you're lonely, and forget who you are. I'm missing half of me, when we're apart. Now you know me, for your eyes only." 

Louis smiled as Harry serenaded him. 

"I've got scars, even though they can't always be seen," Harry was about to stop since that was all he had written, but instead, he sang, "But now you're here, and I don't feel a thing,” coming up with the concluding line on the spot.

Harry smiled at the boy that he held close, and continued singing, coming up with the bridge in the process, "I can feel your heart inside of mine, I feel it, I feel it, I've been going out of my mind." 

Louis could tell which bits were improvised. He thought he couldn't fall more in love with Harry than he already had, but there they were, tangled together at two in the morning, Harry singing him the most beautiful words anyone had ever directed at him, and he couldn't stop himself from falling even harder. 

Louis was amazed at how many correlations Harry's songs had with the one he had written for him. 

He couldn’t form the proper combination of words to express how Harry’s song made him feel. That’s why when Harry finished singing, Louis pulled him down by his neck and kissed him passionately, allowing his lips to do the talking. Tears were now stinging his eyes, "I wrote you one too.”

"Really?" Harry asked, surprised and fully captivated.

"It's alright, calling out for somebody to hold tonight, when you're lost I'll find the way, I'll be your light, you'll never feel like you're alone," he took Harry's hand in his and placed a soft kiss on the back of it, "I'll make this feel like home."

Harry would not have been able to conceal his grin if he had been paid to. 

He said nothing, he let his lips do the talking as well, kissing Louis and not being able to stop himself from smiling into the kiss. He moved his lips down to Louis’ neck and sucked gently on Louis’ skin before coming back up to ask, 

"Home?" Harry pulled himself up, resting only an inch from Louis' lips. 

"Home." Louis nodded, smiling at his sunshine.

The two realized they were each other's living, breathing home. 

"We're such saps," Louis spoke, gazing up at Harry, who's dimples were now showing from his wide smile.

"Perfect saps, for each other," Harry answered, kissing Louis once more. 

"Perfect."

**Author's Note:**

> It is thought that Harry and Louis wrote the songs, If I Could Fly and Home at around the same time, and that they wrote it while on a break. I decided to come up with my own version of how these beautiful songs were brought to life. I have no idea what really happened between the two in that time, but whatever it was, led them to write the most heartfelt songs they've ever written. Here's a list of songs that I listened to while writing this:  
> If I Could Fly & Home (obviously haha)  
> Beside You- 5SOS  
> Secret Love Song- Little Mix  
> Bloodstream- Ed Sheeran  
> Half A Heart- One Direction  
> Thinking Out Loud- Ed Sheeran  
> 18-One Direction  
> Sad Song- We The Kings  
> Because You Loved Me- Celine Dion


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